Mirgi ki Beemari par ek
Nukkad-Naatak
[Ek chhote shahar ki kahaani]
Scene 1
Shaadi se pehle mahilayein
sangeet ki party kar rahi hain –
naachna, gaana, taaliyaan
baja kar maze le rahi hain.
Achanak ek ladki ko daura padta hai. Sab ruk kar ussey gher leti hain! Sab chillane lagti aur alag alag salahon ka shor sunayi deta hai.
Arre! Arre! Mata aa gayi!
Joota laao!
Jhaarh phoonk waale taantrik baba ko bulao!
Chudail aa gayi!
Ojhaji ko bulao!
Chammach lao!
Joota sunghayo! Haan, ab theek ho jayegi, phikar mat karo!
Jharhoo baba ko bulao!
Lo bhai chammach ghusa do daanton ke beech!
Arre, chachi ki jethani ke daamaad bhi toh yahan hain – doctor hain na wo?
Par doctor ka kya kaam?
Arre pehle bhi toh doctor ka ilaaj chal raha tha! Kya hua phir? Ye koi beemari thoda hi hai jo doctor ko dikhayen?
Itne mein koi doctor ko bula laata hai.
Patient’s mother: Arre, kya bataaoon, itna mehnga ilaaj kiya, phir bhi theek na hui ye!
Doctor: kya hua bhai? Ye bheed to hatao, dekhne do mujhe! Isse taazi hava lagne do. Aur koi batao kya hua?
A few give a demonstration of the convulsion.
Doctor: Arre, ye toh mirgi ka daura tha!
Mirgi?
Mirgi ka daura?
Achha… aisa hove hai?
Doctor: Jaldi se isse mulayam bistar par tedha lita dein.
Uss se kya hoga?
Behoshi ki haalat mein kabhi khaya piya baahar aakar phir saans ki nali mein ja sakta hai – iss se saans ruk sakti hai aur jaan ko bhi khatra ho sakta hai!
Mother: Haye daiyya, jaldi litao jaise doctor sahib kehve hain!
Doctor: Ye chammach nikaaliye!
Mother: Magar pichhli baar zubaan kat gayi thi, isiliye…
Doctor: Haan, wo theek hai, magar sakht cheez se daant toot sakte hain. Koi mulayam cheez daanton ke beech daalni chahiye, jaise saaf kapda – rumaal ya chunni… aur ye naak aur munh ke aas paas ki jhaag bhi saaf kar lein, aise… ye bhi saans ki nalee mein ja sakti hai.
Doctor achhi tarah mareez ki jaanch karta hai aur stethoscope se bhi dekhta hai.
Doctor: Shukr hai, koi chot nahin lagi. Ye nukeeli jhaanjar hata dein, aisi cheezein paas nahin honi chahiyein – kabhi girne se chot lag sakti hai.
Mother: Haan theek keh rahe hain – hamare padaus mein to chhore ka sir phat gayo ho – bahut khoon beh gayo.
Doctor: Haan, aise mein ussi jagah ko koi saaf kapda pakad kar sirf zor se daba dein. Aur jitna jaldi ho sake, kisi nazdeeki doctor ke paas le jaayen.
Mother: Doctor sahb, iska toh ilaaj bhi chal raha hai, magar ke fayedo?
Doctor: Barabar?
Mother: Haan! Bas iss shadi ke chakkar mein kuchh dinaan se bhool gayi, par waise to barobar chale hai!
Doctor: Aisi bhool na karen – kuchh din dava chhootne par bhi bimari wapis aa sakti hai!
Mother: Hamari samajh mein to kuchh na pade – koi doctor kahe teen saal chalegi, koi kuchh… do hi dauran mein kaahe ittaa lamba ilaaj?
Doctor: Ho sakta hai, ye toh case-case par nirbhar karta hai! Logon ki na sunein – aap toh uss doctor ki baat maanein jisne mareez dekha hai – wohi sab kuchh jaankaari aapko dega.
Mother: Chalo achha hua doctor saab, aap mil gaye, kismat achhi thi hamri!
Doctor: Aur ye ek paaon ke itne saare joote? Samjha – inhein sunghane ke liye?Koi fayada nahin inse… ye apne aap uth jayegi kuchh minute ya ghanton mein… jab daure ka asar khatm ho jayega!
Scene 2
Ek Ojha baith kar jhaadoo aur kuchh dandon se pooja kar raha hai.
Bam bam bhole… alakh niranjan… chhoo mantar…. Bhaag ja… tujhe nahin chhoroonga… hurrrrrrrr…
Kuchh log ek ladki ko le kar pahunchte hain jo ki mard ki aavaaz mein baat kar rahi hai.
Girl: Main Rajvir hoon… main munni se shaadi karoonga… hat jao mere saamne se… main sab ko maar doonga… kiski himmat hai jo mujhse lad sake…
Family member: Baba, isse dekhiye kya ho gaya hai… Rajvir ko marey to saal ho gaye.. uski aatma gaon bhar mein bhatkey hai… ab iss mein aa gayi deekhe.. kya chahvey hai pata nahin…
Ojha: Tum fikar mat karo… main abhi bhoot prêt sab ko bhaga doonga!
Starts performing his rituals with stick, broom, beats her up…
Ojha: Bol tu iske shareer mein kyun ghusa? Nikal jaa..
Girl: Bachao..
Ojha: Nikal ja nahin to main tujhe bahut tarpaoonga… bhaag ja… phir kabhi nazar na aana…
Girl: Achha bas bas, mujhe aur na maaro…
The girl is in a trance, and falls down on the ground without injuring herself slowly.
Light sutradhaar (doctor) ki taraf jaati hai.
Doctor: Ye mirgee nahin thi – is ladki ko bhi ek man ka rog hai – ismein mareez aisey bartaav karta hai jaise uss mein kisi doosrey ki aatma aa gayi ho. Iska ilaaj manorog chikitsak karengein.
Scene 3
Ek aur parivaar ek ladke ko laata hai – ussey bhi daura pad raha hai lekin ye bhi mirgi ka daura nahin hai.
Doctor: Ye bhi mirgee nahin hai – ye man ke daurey hotey hain, jinka ilaaj bhi manorog chikitsak karte hain. Ye donon bimariyan utni khatarnaak nahin jitni mirgee ki beemari. Inki jaan ko iss ilaaj se khatra na bhi ho, magar mirgee ke mareez ko ho sakta hai – jaise ki yahan dekhiye…
Scene 4
Ek parivaar Ojha ke paas ek behosh mareez ko laata hai. Ek aadmi batata hai ki mirgi ka daura pada tha aur kar ke bhi dikhata hai ki kya hua tha.
Ojha: Arre kuchh nahin, abhi bhaga doonga…
He continues with his usual procedures and the patient does not awaken.
Mother: Haye raam, isse to hosh hi nahin aa raha…
Father: Ab kya karen… kuchh keejiye na ojha ji…
Kuchh der baad vo rote hue ussey doctor ke paas le jaate hain.
Doctor jaanch ke baad kehta hai: Mujhe afsos hai, ye nahin raha.
Sab rone lagte hai zor-zor se.
Doctor: Jaisa maine pehle bataya… mirgee ke mareezon ko aisi jagah na le jaa kar seedhey doctor ke paas le jaayen, varna jaan ko khatra ho sakta hai. Aur kyun ki aapko alag alag beemariyon ki pehchan nahin hai, zara sa shaque bhi ho toh inhein seedhey doctor pe le jaayen.
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कुछ और अपनी लिखी चीज़ें
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